Friday, December 29, 2006

End-of-Year Grades (part two: NFL Midwest teams)

While I am an unapologetic St. Louis homer, I also acknowledge spending ten years in the NFL wilderness while the Gateway city was without an NFL team. In that time, I was already a Minnesota Vikings fan—my first-ever NFL experience was watching Fran Tarkenton play, and I was hooked from that point on—but in between the Deadbirds leaving and the Rams' arrival, I followed two AFC teams identical in proximity to St. Louis: Kansas City and Indianapolis. (I couldn't follow the Bears for the same reason because of their rivalry with Minnesota. I freakin' HATE Chicago and all their stupid teams. Yeah, I even rooted against MJ and the Bulls in '93 when they played the Suns in the finals. Sue me.) So for this, I still follow my surrogate "home town" teams. Divided loyalites? Not at all. I always pull for the Rams first, then the Vikings, but as much as KC and Indy are shown in the southeast Missouri TV market, it's good to have a cheering interest in both of them.

Minnesota Vikings—Final grade: D+
It's just borderline criminal (pardon the pun!) that this Vikings team could so lose its offensive identity in the same year that they rediscovered a Purple People-Eating defense. This unit leads the NFL in run defense. Their offense runs the ball well behind an effective offensive line. Sounds like a recipe for success, right? Except that their pass defense is less-than-mediocre, their secondary is just putrid at times, and they have no downfield scoring threat whatsoever. This is an offense that can't get it done more than five yards at a time, and once you get in the red zone, that just isn't going to cut it. Brad Johnson is a good role-player if you need a dependable backup; he's just not going to lead a team to the playoffs. Tarvaris Jackson should have been starting QB eight weeks ago. This is simply a lost season, and in a weak NFC, that's simply inexcusable.

Kansas City Chiefs—Third Quarter grade: C+
They can upgrade to a B- if they somehow manage to sneak into the final wild card playoff spot, but that seems unlikely given the advantages that Denver, Cincy and the Jets have over them. Herm Edwards probably exceeded expectations for this team; Damon Huard filled in for the injured Trent Green admirably, and Larry Johnson is a man among boys. But this was still Dick Vermeil's team, and they've gone from "veteran" to just "old." Will Carl Peterson decide to rebuild or just try to restock? I think they need to scrap the whole thing, identify their QB of the future and build around that guy and L.J. On the defensive side, KC has always had tough defenses, but the modern blueprint has shifted against from speed to size and strength. They will have to shift likewise to keep up with the AFC's top defenses.

Indianapolis Colts—Third Quarter grade: C-
I understand why so many people don't like Peyton Manning. I always hated John Elway, Joe Montana and Dan Marino when they were in their prime. Hey, I hate Brett Favre when he's on the field, even though I admire his talent and guts, but he plays for an enemy team. I had a hard time learning to cheer for Montana when he was traded to KC because I had spent a decade screaming for his head as he eluded opposition defenses. So I understand that Peyton rubs a lot of people the wrong way. Having said this, anyone who says they would not want him on their team is either a liar or delusional. He's simply the best QB of his generation, and when he's done, he will have broken all of Dan Marino's records. Don't give me Tom Brady, either. If Manning was drafted by the Patriots, he'd have three rings and Brady would be toiling away on some other team. Think Brady would look great in Cleveland? Houston? Arizona?

But here's the thing: this Indianpolis defense is the worst NFL defense I've ever seen. Period. Worse than the expansion Tampa teams of the late 1970s, worse than the 80s-era Cardinals, worse than the worst you can think of. They don't even look interested out there. They can't get off of blocks. They barely attempt to arm tackle. They can't cover receivers. They're gutless, witless and hopeless. If I'm Bill Polian, I tell Tony Dungy he's got one year to fix the defense. Then I fire the D-coord and hire someone from Baltimore like the linebackers or secondary coach, and I spend all my draft picks and most of my free agent dollars on defensive playmakers. Every team in the league has figured out how to beat Peyton Manning: don't let him get on the field. It doesn't matter if he throws four touchdown passes; your four plus a game-winning field goal (e.g., Tennessee, Houston) gets the job done. This team is one-and-done in the playoffs, and everyone knows it. Including Peyton Manning.

Coming tomorrow: Mizzou sports, including Sun Bowl wrap-up


TUCK! said...

I don't get the Vikings' grade. Drew Brees was awesome (and don't you think this season was a complete in-your-face-Marty to Shottenheimer?); the addition of Reggie Bush is a perfect complement to the passing game, and the two whatstheirnames provide more weapons for Vikings scoring than the rest of the teams left in the playoffs (with the possible exception of a healthy Seahawks team).

Wait. That was the Saints. They only LOOK like the (Culpepper/Moss/Carter) Vikings (in their prime. My bad. You're right, Minnesota stunk this year.

Sandman said...

Way to kick me when I'm down, man.

TUCK! said...

No, no, you misunderstand. I've given you hope: Your Vikings are alive and well and playing in New Orleans. Finally, a reason to watch the playoffs (AND a team to cheer for)! Give Glen a call, I'm sure he can get you all the details...

Big Pappa Pump said...

I think Brady would go to the Pro Bowl every year in Arizona. Look who he has to throw to, Boldin and Fitzgerald. Anyone can look good throwing to those Pro Bowlers.