Saturday, October 03, 2009

NFL Week Four: Who's on MNF this week again?

Thirteen and three last week, and I stupidly hoped to pick a Rams upset in the home opener. Durr.... The Vikings better shore up their secondary, or Aaron Rodgers is likely to pass for 300 yards. I still think the story of the game will be Adrian Peterson, not Brett Favre. Look for AP to shine in the Monday night spotlight this week. Here's my picks:

Detroit at Chicago
Hope you enjoyed that win last week, Lions. This week, back to reality.
Bears 33, Lions 13

Cincinnati at Cleveland
Are the Bengals for real this year? Who cares this week? They're playing one of the league's worst teams. People need to learn that working for a good coach doesn't make you a good coach. Have any of Belichick's disciples actually succeeded anywhere yet? Yeah, but the book's still out on the Broncos. Let's see how they fare against Dallas this week.
Bengals 38, Browns 16

Seattle at Indianapolis
I despise the Seattle franchise, so watching my man Peyton shred the Seahawks secondary is going to make my Sunday afternoon—provided my stupid cable company carries the game. Now that Tyler Hansbrough's playing for the Pacers, all Indy sports must automatically count as home games in Poplar Bluff.
Colts 30, Seahawks 14

NY Giants at Kansas City
Best, meet worst. Worst, meet best. Best beats worst.
Giants 37, Chefs 6

Tampa Bay at Washington
Just what the struggling 'Skins needed—the worst team in the league coming to town.
Skins 33, Bucs 3

Tennessee at Jacksonville
How is anyone supposed to pick this game? Jax got killed by Arizona, who stunk it up at home against San Fran, just one week after almost beating Indy. Last week, just to confuse things, they beat Houston in a shootout. Meanwhile, last year's highest wins team (13-3) with maybe the best head coach in the league starts out 0-3, losing two close games and a shootout against the same Houston team that Jax outscored. What the #&@%!? I should just flip a coin.
Titans 24, Jaguars 23

Oakland at Houston
To call the Oakland Raiders a tire fire is an insult to tire fires.
Texans 37, Raiders 13

Baltimore at New England
Old boss, meet the new boss.
Ravens 21, Patriots 17

NY Jets at New Orleans
Drew Brees is must-see TV. Too bad the networks schedule prime games based on last year's teams.
Saints 31, Jets 24

Buffalo at Miami
I wouldn't bet on Chad Henne if you put a gun to my head.
Bills 27, Dolphins 16

Dallas at Denver
Dallas stood toe-to-toe with the Giants and almost won the game, then outslugged a still-tough Carolina defense. Denver beat Cincy on a fluke play, then beat Cleveland and Oakland, two huge doormats. Even at Mile High, I give Dallas the edge in this one.
Cowboys 24, Denver 20

St. Louis at San Francisco
This is going to make those humiliating games from the pre-Vermeil and Warner '90s look like relaxing walk along the beach on a warm summer day.
49ers 49, Rams 0

San Diego at Pittsburgh
The Steelers have to win this one at home, right? Right? Because they're freaking killing me week after week, and I'm going to jump ship if they blow this one.
Steelers 13, Chargers 10

Green Bay at Minnesota
Go ahead, make it all about Brett Favre. Focus on the passing game and trying to humiliate the old man. All the better to clear the running lanes for AP. Get this through your head, losers: Favre's a role player, and he knows it. This game will be about physical domination, and the Vikings will impose their will on a young and often erratic Packers squad. And did any of you really think I would pick differently?
Vikings 31, Packers 20

Last week: 13-3
This season: 34-14 (.708)

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